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Symbol of Floppism.
Floppism, officially the Church of Floppus, is the predominant religion of almost every floppa-majority country. The believers of Floppism, or Floppists, believe in their one true god, Floppus. According to the Holy Flop Book, which all Floppists must abide by, described the religion as guidance to help lost floppas get on the right path that Floppus makes. Floppists must sacrifice their worldly life for the interests and glory of Floppus, so when they die, they'll go to Paradise, and if those Floppists did not serve Floppus well, they'd be sent to the Flopsworn, the realm of torment, agony, and suffering.
There are four major branches of Floppism, with other sects or "perverted faith". These three branches are the Floppaslavian Floppist Church, the Zevican Floppist church, the Flopaeaean Floppist Church, and the Soggican Floppist Church. Other major denominations include the Holy Church of Floppus for the Glory of America (HCFGA, sometimes called HOCH-FLOGA), an American sect declared heretics by the Floppaslavian Floppist Church.
Sex was a taboo topic, even heretical in Floppism.
History[]
Depiction of Floppus by Leonardo Flopinci.
Floppism was first introduced 3000 years ago by the Messenger of Floppus; his real name is unknown. The Messenger of Floppus was chosen by Floppus himself to spread the gospel of Floppism, which the Messenger wrote in scriptures, which would then be booked into the Gospel of Floppus, the first book in the Holy Flop Book. Floppism started somewhere in modern-day Floppaslavia, and its spread was helped by "The Teachers", which are Teacher Floue, Teacher Gaeae, and Teacher Amaea. These three teachers were prominent missionaries that are considered holy, as they were the biggest of apostles.
In around the 1st century, scriptures of the Holy Flop Book started to be booked by apostles and other Floppists. They also started using Latin as their primary language after the rapid rise of the ancient Bingus Empire. Only after the founding of the first unified Floppaslavian state did Floppists use Floppaslavic as their language.
Zevicans believe Floppism was spread even before The Messenger of Floppus, by Teacher Zevicus, who they think prophesied the coming of Floppus in human form.
Branches[]
Past conflicts have created many branches of the Floppism religion. The first, the biggest, and the original are the Floppaslavian Floppist Church, the second is the Zevican Floppist church that believes The Prophet Of Floppus is an incarnation of Floppus, the third is the Gaean Floppist Church which belives Teacher Gaeae was as holy as the Messenger of Floppus, and the fourth and last is the Soggican Floppist Church, the branch started by Floppist Soggas that the Floppaslavian Floppist Church rejected as members of the Church of Floppus. The Soggicans are also in full communion with the Bingud Floppist Church and all Bingus Floppists are also classified as Greater Soggicans.
Floppaslavian Floppist Church (CCFF)[]
The Floppaslavian Floppist Church, also known as the Central Church of Floppism of Floppaslavia (CCFF or FFC unoficially), is the biggest and the first Floppist denomination worldwide. Founded by Teacher Floue, the CCFF was the only church founded by one of The Teachers. Since the church's foundation, conflicts have occurred countless times, resulting in separate sects or denominations, including Gaeaean Floppist Church and Soggican Floppist Church. The church is led by the Father of the Church, the position which is now being held by Father Fioloppe VII.
History[]
The CCFF was founded by Teacher Floue, the first of The Teachers and the only one to ever been directly taught by the Messenger of Floppus. Teacher Floue founded the church after the Messenger of Floppus passed away somewhere in the 800s BF. Since then, the church grew, firstly in the Floppaslavian region, then spread throughout Floppersia, the Caucasus, and Zabloing, until reaching Europe. Some of the churches also spread to Asia, Flopsha, and Africa. The church grew significantly in Europe, after a massive conversion, half by force and half not.
The Gaeaean Floppist Church broke away from the CCFF in the 1st century, during the reign of the Bingus Empire. Father Floppocus III, the Father of the Church, declared the GFC as heretics, commanding his followers to outlaw their practices and hunting them down. This controversial act resulted in the Floppism Civil War, a twenty-year-long war that culminated in defeat on both sides. The intervening Bingus Empire caused the losses after seeing the chaos caused by the religious war. The Bingus Emperor ordered the massacre of Floppists after that, believing that they were "wild animals" and "chaos makers".
When the Soggican Floppist Church split from the Floppaslavian Floppist Church in 1698, the Soggicans were declared heretics by Father Zabloing IV, who encouraged the Floppaslavian and Floppersian tsars to outlaw the practice of it in their countries. However, the Zabloingan emperor, who now referred to himself as the 'protector of the Soggicans' (Zabloing had been almost entirely converted), objected to this and threatened war if they did not have Soggicans equal rights. The tsars did not do this as they wanted to remain in good favour with the Father; this resulted in the Second Thirty Years War between Floppaslavia and its allies and Zabloing and their allies. The war was the deadliest pre-20th century conflict and led to widespread devastation in western Floppaslavia, Northern Floppersia (including New Rinkus) and the total collapse of Zabloing.
Hierarchy[]
Because of its worldwide reach, the CCFF has a hierarchy system that is one of the oldest in the world. Every country has one archdiocese, the congregation leader in the country, and below the archdiocese are dioceses, which generally govern big cities. Every bishop is loyal to archbishops, and archbishops are loyal to the Father of the Church. For example, the Bishop of Detroit was Big Floppa, loyal to Archbishop Floppianus, the archbishop of the United Flops, representative of the Father of the Church in the United Flops.
Following is a list detailing the prominent archbishops/archdioceses and bishops/dioceses of the CCFF in the world:
- Archdiocese of the United Flops of America, Archbishop Floppianus
- Archdiocese of Floppaslavia, Archbishop Floppuzov
- Archdiocese of Bingustan, Archbishop Bingzan
- Archdiocese of Floppersia, Archbishop Flopeonard
- Archdiocese of Soggastan, Archbishop Soggianus
- Archdiocese of Great Sogtain, Archbishop Flopington
- Archdiocese of Flopmany, Archbishop Sogsch
- Diocese of Detroit, Bishop Big Floppa
- Diocese of Miami, Bishop DaFlorantine
- Diocese of New Rinkus, Bishop Floppoloppa
- Diocese of Flopscow, Bishop Floprius
Zevican Floppist Church (ZFC)[]
The Zevican Floppist Church is the second biggest branch of Floppism. They believe that the Messenger of Floppus is Floppus in human form. The church was founded by multiple floppist church leaders who believed in the beliefs of the Zevican Floppist Church. The Zevican Floppist Church is known for it's rivalry with the Floppaslavian Floppist Church.
History[]
In 1472, multiple Bingsnian church leaders under the Floppotomans founded Zevican Floppist Church, based in Soggajevo. They found a book, claiming that the Messenger of Floppus was as holy as Floppus, and made it the primary belief of the church, which they called the "Zevican Floppist Church" after tne book's main figure, Teacher Zevicus. Although the church leaders' wish was satisfied, the Floppotoman Government banned the church immediately.
The church leaders in response to this made the church secret, being an underground church. This secrecy lasted until the Sogstrian occupation of Bingsnia and Flopzegovina, establishing the province and lifting the ban. After the founding of the State of Flopratia in 1892, the Zevican church was made the state church by the government under Jurić.
After Jurić's government fell in 1912, the new government under Flopak made the Floppaslavian Church the state church instead, completely forgetting about the Zevican Church. This was one of the first sparks of the Zevican-Floppaslavian Rivalry. When the State of Flopratia fell in 1918, the new Soggian government forced Zevicans to convert to the Floppaslavian Church, as Soggians we're majority Floppaslavian Floppists.
After the Nafi Occupation and the establishment of the multi-ethnic government, the Zevican Church was no longer forced to convert to Floppaslavian, and was made an official state church along with the Floppaslavian Church. By this point, the Zevican Church was popular world-wide, being spread all across the European continent and spreading into other countries.
Today, the Zevican Church is popular all across the world, with people like Big Floppa even converting to Zevican, despite his ancestors believing in the Floppaslavian Church.
The book of Zevicus is claimed by them to be a missing part of the Holy Flop Book, considered non-canonical by the other churches due to its statement that Floppus would come down in human form. It is about a cat called Teacher Zevicus, who was a teacher before the Messenger had even come, and prophesied his coming.
Hierarchy[]
The Zevican Church has a familiar hierarchy to the Floppaslavian Church. Every Bishop is loyal to an Archbishop and every Archbishop is loyal to the leader of the church, the current leader of the Zevican Church is Flopislav II of the Zevican Church.
Following is a list of the most famous Zevican bishops and archbishops:
- Archbishop of the United Flops, Archbishop Peter
- Archbishop of Floppaslavia, Archbishop Andrei
- Archbishop of the Republic of Zabloing, Archbishop Serhij
- Archbishop of Floppersia, Archbishop Flakolei
- Archbishop of Bingustan, Archbishop Fleorgi (As of 2029)
- Bishop of Zabiy, Bishop Zatvij
- Bishop of Floprague, Bishop Martin
- Bishop of Flopscow, Bishop Maksim
Gaeaean Floppist Church (GFC)[]
Depiction of Teacher Gaeae.
The Gaeaean Floppist Church, also known as the GFC, is a branch of Floppism with around 700 million members. The GFC's beliefs and practices are similar to the CCFF, except the GFC believe that Teacher Gaeae is the holiest among the teacher. These contradictions with the CCFF doctrine have caused many wars, but nowadays, people from Floppism branches are trying their best not to spite each other. The base doctrine of the GFC is that Teacher Gaeae is as holy as the Messenger of Floppus, while the two other are below.
History[]
In the 1st century, during the reign of the Bingus Empire, the GFC, led by the descendant of Teacher Gaeae himself, revolted against the CCFF, which was still based on Flopkey and the Flopant region. The CCFF has always despised the GFC sect, claiming they were misguided, but the CCFF declared the GFC as heretics after the revolution. This discrepancy led to the Floppism Civil War, which ended with the Bingus Empire massacring Floppists after seeing how ruthlessly they kill their opponents.
The GFC went to war with the CCFF after the Fall of the Bingus Empire, with Father Floppary V declaring war on the GFC. This event started the Floppism Wars, a series of conflicts that decimated Europe caused by hatred and contradiction between the CCFF and the GFC. The Floppism Wars ended in the 1000s, after Father Fioloppe I declared that the CCFF must search for peace, not war.
Hierarchy[]
Different to the CCFF, the GFC does not have any hierarchy. There are indeed some positions, but they are primarily in private GFC churches. Still, GFC believers believe that Teacher Gaeae is as holy as the Messenger of Floppus, treating Gaeae as the left hand of Floppus, like the Messenger of Floppusis his right.
Soggican Floppist Church (SFC)[]
The Soggican Floppist Church is a church founded by soggas in 1698, after severe conflicts with the CCFF. Soggas were despised by floppas back in the days, even in religion. But still, some soggas worship Floppus, although they were not accepted in the church. Thus, Floppist soggas founded the Soggican Floppist Church specifically built for Floppist soggas, but the church also welcomes non-soggas, however.
History[]
When the Soggican Floppist Church split from the Floppaslavian Floppist Church in 1698, the Soggicans were declared heretics by Father Zabloing IV, who encouraged the Floppaslavian and Floppersian tsars to outlaw the practice of it in their countries. However, the Zabloingan emperor, who now referred to himself as the 'protector of the Soggicans' (Zabloing had been almost entirely converted), objected to this and threatened war if they did not have Soggicans equal rights. The tsars did not do this as they wanted to remain in good favour with the Father; this resulted in the Second Thirty Years War between Floppaslavia and its allies and Zabloing and their allies. The war was the deadliest pre-20th century conflict and led to widespread devastation in western Floppaslavia, Northern Floppersia (including New Rinkus) and the total collapse of Zabloing.
Zabloing was the first country to adopt the SFC as its official religion. Since then, the SFC has spread primarily to sogga majority of countries, including Africa and Asia. They also have encountered conflicts with other branches, like during the Sogmean War, the Flopshans committed atrocities toward Soggicans in Zabloing. On the other hand, the SFC has been declared non-heretic by the CCFF since the 1960s by the Father himself.
Hierarchy[]
The SFC has a similar hierarchy to the CCFF. The SFC still believes that the Father of the Church is their leader, even though the Grand Priest of Soggican technically leads the SFC. Below the Grand Priest are the Soggican Archbishops who lead Soggican Archdioceses, and below them are Soggican Bishops who lead Soggican Dioceses. The spread of these dioceses and archdioceses are limited, however, considering not everyone is and accepts Soggican Floppism.
Other sects[]
Holy Church of Floppus for the Glory of America (HCFGA/HOCH-FLOGA)[]
The Holy Church of Floppus for the Glory of America, also known as the HCFGA or the HOCH-FLOGA, is a sect of Floppism originating from the United Flops of America. The base beliefs and practices of the sect are similar to the CCFF. Still, Floga Floppists, as they call themselves, believe that Floppus is only a saviour for blessed and chosen Americans, specifically North American floppas. This statement forced the CCFF to declare the HCFGA a heretical sect, although Floga Floppists still believe in base teachings and have not caused significant harm.
The HCFGA was founded by twin brothers George and James Flopsmith, who claimed they had seen a sighting of Floppus. It was the 18th century, and nobody believes them since they were famous for being troublemakers. After the staggering event, the Flopsmith twins built their own church and faith that still believes in Floppus but only accepted North American floppas, as they claimed Floppus had commanded. The "tradition" to not accept non-floppas still exists among modern Floga Floppists, which number around 17 million in North America alone.
Bingusical Church of Floppus (Bingus Floppism)[]
The Bingusical Church of Floppus (BCF) or Bingusical Floppism is a sect founded by Floppist sphynx in the 21st century after being rejected by the CCFF. The church only exists in Bingustan, as one of the hunted religions in the nation. Still, after the Bingustani Revolution, there are around 21 million Bingusical Floppists in Bingustan. This sect, eventually, communed with the Soggican Floppist Church and is while technically separate, having a few special traditions, is still part of the Greater Soggican Church.
Sect of Soggus[]
The Sect of Soggus is a Floppism sect originating in Africa, founded by Africans who have fetishist and animist culture. This sect was a product of a cultural combination of Floppism and local religion. The sect members believe that their god is not Floppus, but rather Soggus, since they are soggas themselves.
The CCFF declared war on the "extremely" heretical sect when it was created in the mid 20th century. Floppaslavian Floppist crusaders came to southeastern Africa and waged war against the Soggusists and killed civilians as well. The war ended in the 1980s after they were exhausted.
Beliefs[]
There are three main points in following Floppism. The three points are explained in the Epistle of Joah.
- Floppus Sit Ubique (lit. Floppus is everywhere). This implies that Floppus is everywhere; he is present universally.
- Fiunt Certae Divinationum Esse Floppus (lit. Floppus is trustworhty). This implies that Floppus is the truth that should be sought. He is honest and will never lie.
- Omnes Enim Floppus (lit. Floppus is all). This implies that Floppus is indeed everything.
Controversies[]
Floppism has some controversy these days. The first is the rise of the ProSex Union, banned in 2014 by President Barack Flobama. The Union protests the church for prohibiting sex, which they think should be legal and normalized. There are also some accusations against the church administrators suspected to be paedophiles or sex offenders. The church has announced that they will investigate, but many people still protest.
Floppists followers in Flopxico is reportedly tortured and summarily executed. The church has threatened Flopxico, but the Flopxican government denies its actions being actual. Some devoted Floppists protested this, and Barack Flobama announced that he had authorized a mission to investigate Flopxico.
In Floppersia, it is reported that the Floppersian government forces non-believers in their land to believe in Floppism. Many people protested in front of the Floppersian Embassy in Flopington DC, but the Floppersian government and the UF government deny it. Many people, including the ProSex Union members, wants to impeach President Barack Flobama. Still, 80% of the country approves Flobama's administration.
People are lashing out at the church because of the actions of Floppaeda, which admitted that they're the "defender of Floppism". Father Fioloppe VII denies any affiliation with Floppaeda and even said that "Floppaeda is misguided".